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To the eternal discomfiture of hardcore androphobics (i.e., “those who fear balls”), there were truckloads of balls at the ball. Crystal balls, that is. Themed “Visions,” Central Park Conservancy’s 12th Annual Halloween Ball featured soothsaying paraphernalia galore amidst roughly 550 bipeds attired as everything from witches to butterflies to Tarot cards to plain old humanoids in gowns and tuxedos. In a capacious canvas pitched on Central Park’s Rumsey Playfield, the frolicsome convention fueled up on high-octane Grey Goose Peartinis before succumbing to Death by Chocolate, with some pumpkin soup and short ribs devoured in between.
Possible party guests included Eleanore Kennedy, Kristian Laliberte, Annabel Vartanian, Renate Christ, Leena Kassak, Heather Dinneen, Jennifer Higgs, Alysa Wall, Sandra Schenkel, Sophia Jensine, Dawni Mercado, Oksana Salivonenko, Angelia Cyr, Kristy Deanne, Daniella Vesterlund, Anna Hellstrom, Jamie Pallen, Sofia Eng, Eileen Blum, Renáta Somossy, Jillian Nemec, Kendra Bernick, Tricia Grose, Alexander Kuchinka, Sabrina Walters, Jaqueline Kay, Peter David, Valerie Rosensteel, Nadine Campeau, Linda Powers, Melissa Marlin, Christelle Koko, Melanie Joannow, Nina Stojkovic, Heidi Curran, Pet Merrill, Michelle Westmark, Solveigh Heinemann, Elizabeth Ostheim, Katharina Stermann, Yvette Chavis, Magda Zawisza, Irene Woods, Veronika Requat, Yuliya Frolovskaya, and Ian Smith, but what with all that elaborate masquerading, reliable identification of individuals proved laborious to impracticable. Little doubt exists, however, that all the aforesaid mortals were in attendance unless they were spending the evening elsewhere—the perfect alibi indeed, at least according to one Chief Inspector Clouseau (who may or may not have attended as well).
All pertinent conjecture notwithstanding, there is an almost 95% chance it was WABC’s Accu-Weather prophesier Lee Goldberg who emceed the yearly costume contest, and after thoughtful deliberation, a jury composed of, perhaps, L.A. fashion stylist Phillip Bloch, Food Network’s semi-homemade Sandra Lee, and event chairs Suzanne and Bob Cochran, adjudged an astro-nut, a chick magnet, a Bugsy Siegel with his dame, and a deck of aforementioned Tarot cards to be one sartorial cut above the competition.
On balance, the ball of balls netted up $900,000 for the upkeep of Central Park, whose 26,000 trees, 10,000 benches, 250 acres of lawn, 54 monuments, 37 bridges, 8 manmade waterfalls (fashioned from NYC water pipes that can be individually turned on and off like faucets!), and 5 water bodies sop up over $2 million in monthly operating expenses. And that doesn’t even include nut money for the squirrels.
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