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“I was in the ladies’ room and I asked this woman if I can borrow some mascara she had, and the bitch wouldn’t lend it to me … you know who you are out there!” Forced by a broken drum pedal to take five from letting rip with her band Scandal, lead songstress Patty Smyth didn’t miss a beat and smoothly segued into a raunchy off-the-cuff standup routine during the 2007 Alzheimer’s Association Rita Hayworth Gala in Manhattan.
An apparent attempt by a tuxedoed John McEnroe to becalm his abruptly comedienne-turned better half was swiftly countered with a cryptic “Don’t worry honey, you’ll get some later.” Alas, the tennis champ had to wait. No dice wangling a matrimonial racket spanking at the Waldorf.
Not everyone, though, had to tarry for their deserts. Nurit Kahane Haase promptly received the 2007 Rita Hayworth Award, and Corporate Honors were conferred upon John K. Castle.
The attending glitterati set comprised, among others, Carolina Herrera, Joy and Regis Philbin, celebrity coiffeur Rudolfo Valentin, Donna Dixon with hubby Dan Aykroyd, and Samantha Perelman with billionaire daddy Ron. (Leaving distracting minutia like age, hair, gender, and attire out of account, the latter two individuals looked virtually indistinguishable – genes?)
Besides commemorating the eponymous Ms. Hayworth, whose daughter, Princess Yasmin Aga Khan, chaired the function, this year’s gala was dedicated to the memory of Claudia Cohen. “It was her baby aside from me,” Claudia’s “other” baby Samantha touchingly summarized her mom’s longstanding devotion to this charity, and a clip of the recently deceased columnist speaking at a previous event sent many a trail of embattled mascara down many a cheek.
Since 1985, roughly 50 million dollars have been raised by the annual Rita Hayworth Galas. Would it be asking for the moon to finance a new drum pedal for Patty Smyth?
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